happy moments

Amidst all the frustrations of parenthood, come those sweet moments that make my heart feel happy. Today, those moments occurred as my husband came home, and took a whining toddler out to swing on the swing. I love watching out the window and seeing the sheer delight on her face.

Another moment is watching your toddler become more independent all the time, including when she decides to change out of her jeans and into pajama bottoms and church shoes to go play outside.

It's when we catch caterpillars and put them in a jar and wait to see if they build cocoons and turn into butterflies...(and hope that they don't die in the meantime)






What's even better is when Katelyn was calling them "callapitters". I loved it, but sadly, she has figured out how to say it correctly. Oh well.

These warm spring days are like medicine to my soul!









Katelyn insisted her hair be in her face for this picture.

What will happen.....?

Easter 2012

We had a nice Easter. The Easter Bunny was EXTREMELY generous with the girls this year. Thank goodness for "him" (wink, wink). My mom and Dale were here for the weekend. We had a pancake breakfast and a Ham dinner. It was all very delicious and I feel very fat today.

We had a beautiful, warm, sunny day. Got to attend great church meetings. The girls were a vision of spring in their Easter skirts. My sister in law, Sarah, showed me a really easy pattern to make these skirts. So easy, even I could make them with no real sewing skills. Katelyn picked out the fabric. Such pretty little girls. After our dinner, we enjoyed a nice evening walk around the neighborhood.

Happy Easter to All!

how to make a collage

Finally learned how to make a collage. Thanks to this tutorial.
It's only taken me a year or so to figure it out.

joy

Today. I "enjoyed" them. Truly.

tough day

There is a long list of firsts that you encounter as a parent. Tonight I had one.

I asked Katelyn to get into her jammies, and she started to get sad and mumbled something under her breath. I finally got her to tell me what she was saying. She said, "I'm not fast at running." Then she started bawling. So we sat down to talk about it. She told me that she isn't fast at running when she is at recess and she can't keep up with the other kids and then loses sight of them. She also told me that she didn't have anyone to play with at recess. I don't know if that is completely true, but it still made me feel bad. It all made my heart hurt for her. And I just thought in my head....Oh girl, this is just the beginning!

I was so incredibly glad to get out of school-when I graduated high school. The school years can be tough emotionally. Lots of anxiety, peer pressure, stress to do well in class, etc. Blah! If I hadn't had a church group for support, I don't know how I would have survived. It was hard enough going through it for yourself, and now...we get to go through it again via our children. Boy, do I ever need wisdom!

sister love

Last night we put the girls to bed and Alaina was still protesting, as she normally does, after we left the room. I was standing outside the door when I heard Katelyn say, "Alaina, do you want me to sing some songs to you?" Alaina agreed and Katelyn began singing "Jingle Bells". Soon enough, both were quiet and asleep.

It melted my heart. What sweet girls.

fun times and memorable moments

Katelyn got to invite a few friends over tonight for a movie night. It was so cute to see how excited they all were. What made it even better is that before the friends came over we wrote all their names on a paper bag for their popcorn. When I wrote Alaina's name on a bag, Katelyn said, "that's right, cuz Alaina is my friend too." Ahhhh, these are the moments that make all those other moments seem bearable.

I definitely try to teach her/them that sisters are friends too and can be even the best friends that they will ever have in life. I told Katelyn that it made me really happy to hear her say that.

parenthood

Wouldn't it be great if each of your children came with an instruction manual? Or maybe we should have mandatory classes on parenting. I do not know how to handle my 5 year old's moody personality. Maybe I can't get too upset with her, because there's a good chance some of it is genetic (ahem, her mom can be this way). For example, we walk to the school to pick her up when she is done with class. She's happy and energetic like she is every day after school. She runs almost the whole way home, then suddenly 3 houses before ours, she stops running, walks slowly with her head hung down kind of. I try to make a game out of it and tell her "we're going to get you". She continues walking, head hanging a bit and then by the 2nd house she laughs and starts running. I let her beat us, of course. So, we are in the driveway and she stops by the car, hangs her head again and is acting sad, or mopey, or mad. I don't really know what the emotion is. I don't dwell on it, or linger begging to find out what is wrong. So I go in the house and carry on with the day. She's happy when she gets to have cocoa puffs for a snack. I tell her come downstairs so I can show her the new bathroom vanity. She seems unimpressed and when I asked her for a hug, you would have thought I asked her to go mop the entire house. That felt great.

She is obsessed with watching "movies" or shows on netflix. I guess I let her do it too often, but I do try to limit it. Today she asked to watch a movie and I told her no. She threw a little fit and stamped her feet. When I put Alaina down for a nap she asked again. I said no, you threw a fit last time I told you no, so you don't get to watch one. I came up with other ideas. I offered her to help me make cookies, bread or read stories together. She didn't want to do any of those. Then she thought maybe making cookies would suffice. Until I told her what kind I was making. It was all over then. More moping, whining, etc.

Her moods are all over the place. She is up and down all day long. If she isn't being entertained, she is most likely moping around the house.

The other thing that is quite bothersome is that two or three times now, when she is unhappy with a decision I have made on her behalf, she tells me:

"you don't love me anymore"
"you're not my friend anymore because you aren't being nice to me"
"you don't want me anymore"
"you don't love me anymore".

So, what to make of it all?

Kindergarten field trip-Country Mercantile

Katelyn's 1st field trip:
She got to ride the SCHOOL BUS, which she was a little nervous
about, but decided that the bus was so much fun!

We went out to the Country Mercantile for the annual pumpkin pick.
We get to go on a fun tractor-pulled hay ride out to the patch and choose
whatever little pumpkin their hearts desire.
They also get to climb the hay pyramid, go through the hay maze
and then stop by the petting zoo.

So nice that siblings and parents can come too.

I love the sister-love

our friend Olivia

cookie time!

Katelyn and her "boy" friends, Dallin and Noah.

kids

My kids are running around nude (well, the oldest only has underpants on). Katelyn is mixing up some sweet lyrics while showing Alaina the latest and greatest dance moves. Dad's gone at the hockey game so I figure, heck, you can only get away with running around nude for so many years. Party on girls!

1st day of Kindergarten

She sure loves to pose

Her school is tucked in our neighborhood, just a couple of blocks from our house.
We will get to take a nice morning walk ever day to drop her off and pick her up.

She was a little apprehensive about lining up on the wall all alone.
(must have been that kid with the wild hair) -j/k
So Dad hung with her for a few.

She had a good first day and is still excited to go to school.
I'm gonna have to make sure she gets a REALLY good night's sleep before class
though, because she was an absolute bear after we picked her up.

I did not cry.

And by the way, I am not just excited about her going to school because I
want to "get rid of her" for a few hours. (Justin keeps telling people this and it's just not true).
And I don't think it's very funny.
I am excited for her.
For all the reasons I have already posted about.
Thank you very much.

back to school

This is it! Our oldest daughter is FIVE and is going to KINDERGARTEN! I am so excited and so, so more than ready! I am so excited for a daily routine (yeah...I don't think we had much of a daily routine this summer), for structure, for her to be focused on something more constructive than She-Ra, or Angelina Ballerina, or whatever other show she is obsessed with.

I am not one of those super creative, fun moms who always has fun projects for their kids to do. I suppose I could be, if I made more effort (meaning no, I don't need advice or ideas. I am quite resourceful and know where to find them), but lets just say it doesn't really come naturally for me. I know I need to do better in that department.

Anyway, Katelyn loves to watch her shows. We don't have TV or cable or anything. Not because I am too pure for it, it just didn't make the team when we were deciding what expenses were absolutely necessary. Besides, we can watch shows online. And that's what we do. This summer I taught Katelyn what it means to be a couch potato. And unfortunately she now thinks this is something to be proud of. Today I let her know that her show watching days are coming to an end. It's time for school now! (*Alaina, on the other hand, is not interested in TV or movies at all-and I don't think it's just an age thing. Katelyn was into movies very early on, by at least 18mos.)

We met her teacher, Mrs. Hickman last week at the open house. She is super cute and seems very nice. Katelyn knows 4 kids in her class already. Three boys, including our next door neighbor and one other girl from church.

I am very excited for her. I am looking forward to her learning how to read this year and hopefully we can trade in watching shows, for reading books (because she loves that as well).

Yay for school! And no, I really don't think I am going to cry over it (but if you did, that's cool too). I am ready-And I think she is too :)

my daughters

I love this picture that I took of Alaina today. She is taking care of her baby by wiping it's bum. She did this not too long after I had changed her diaper.

It's moments like these that cause me to reflect on my role as a mother. It seems so innocent and cute how she is mimicking what I do for her, but it makes me ponder the even bigger picture. She is a mommy in training. And that is not an insignificant thing.

I struggle a lot with feelings of being inadequate at mothering. Just the other day I told someone that "I'm not a natural mother". I guess I don't know what I really mean by saying that, I just don't feel like I am doing that great of a job most of the time...maybe not most of the time, but often. I was never the girl who dreamed of nothing but being a mother and having babies. I always figured I would, but it intimidated me more than excited me. And now that I am here, I feel the pressure.

Being a good...no, great mom is something I think about often. I still search for what it means though...to be a great mom-to my girls specifically. It could mean something very different to each of my children. And what I think would make me a great mom, and how I act on that interpretation, may not be the same as what my children's definition or interpretation may be. Does that make sense?

I think it means being selfless. I mean really, truly selfless. I can think of a million ways that I am NOT that. But I know what I need to work on and that's a start. There are so many things pulling my attention in all kinds of directions. Some, are worth nothing and their cost is a price I do not want to pay.

It occurred to me recently that one way I might go about achieving this is to think of myself as teaching my daughters how to be what I think would be a great mom. It helps me to focus on what I am doing, or in many cases, not doing-and to think about how my actions and words are teaching them what kind of mom to be.

I think this has occurred to me as I listen to how Katelyn speaks to Alaina. Thankfully, there are many more sweet, kind and loving moments where Katelyn is a great older sister, but there are also times when I hear a distinct imitation of me, and it makes me cringe.

I know I won't always be perfect, but I will keep fighting against myself and my weaknesses so that I can hopefully be an influence for good in the lives of my "mommies in training".

swimming lessons

Yesterday Katelyn had her first day of swim lessons. I put her in the very 1st level, since she has never done them before and since she is pretty timid about things like this. Holy cow, this was the cry-baby class. There were at least 3 or 4 kids bawling almost the whole time. Katelyn did well, but has not exactly fallen in love with it after the 1st two days. Hopefully things will change over the next couple of weeks as she gets more comfortable and builds her confidence.

Alaina joined in the bawling, except she was crying because she couldn't go in the water.

friends

This is Katelyn's friend Ren, who lives next door. They are great friends and love playing together. Today I found Ren playing Barbies with Katelyn. She was absolutely in heaven! This kid is ALL boy, so I thought it was so sweet that he was willing to play Barbies with her.

preschool "graduation"

Thursday was Katelyn's last day of preschool with a program. She attended Young Years Preschool at a Lutheran church down the way. She loved it and we did too. For their program they sang a whole host of cute little songs, then they each got a certificate and a necklace with a cross on it. Afterward, there was a family picnic. Sweet and simple and quick! Today we were briefly talking about preschool and she started crying and saying how sad she was that she wouldn't get to go to preschool anymore. Oh my, what a tender-heart she is. Such a sweet girl.

she totally looks like the short kid in this picture

Mrs. Yaden, Mrs. Lee, Mrs. Raines

awww, our little graduate :)

Katelyn and her friend Morgan

With her friend Madison :)

Watch out Kindergarten! Here we come!

katelyn made me blush...bad!

Monday night we were feeding the missionaries dinner and a brief conversation came up about the difference in Alaina's and Katelyn's eating/food preferences or styles or whatever you want to call it. Justin was explaining that even at a very young age Katelyn was very sensitive and "picky" about what she ate. Well, Katelyn wanted to get in on the conversation too. She said: "when I was a baby I was supposed to drink out of my mama's boo-boo's, but I didn't like it." Oh.my.gosh! We all had a good laugh and even though we were feeding sister missionaries, my face still turned beet red.

weekend happenings

Katelyn got to plant some seeds at preschool. They are growing really well.

Here is Justin, with the help of cousin Audrey-putting the "beanstalks"
into the ground.

Last week Justin celebrated his 34th birthday

I made a vanilla-fudge cake from scratch

This is such a typical "cop" expression. haha!
We were happy to have Corey, Sarah, Ezra & Audrey here
to enjoy cake and ice cream with.

I have recently started watching my neighbor's baby while she and her husband are at work. She is 7 months old. The girls just love her, as you can see by the pictures of them mauling her. Katelyn said, "can we keep her?" No.

Katelyn has also- for the last several months- been putting requests in for a baby brother. I told her I didn't know if that would happen and that you don't get to pick if you have a boy or girl baby. So today she asked again for a baby brother. I told her that she might have to pray and ask Heavenly Father about getting a baby brother. She immediately got down on her knees and said a really great prayer. As soon as she was done, she looked at me with big, wide eyes and asked: "did it work?!" LOL. I told her she might have to keep praying for a while. Oh boy!

No pressure

Hangin' With Dad

My future Food Network Star

Katelyn loves hangin' out with Dad.

Last night she helped him make the

Spaghetti sauce and then later he

took her shopping for new boots,

gloves and a cool "Dora" hat.