Some days you want to pull all of your hair out, are tempted to say bad words, or take a flying leap off the back deck....
And then there are other days, when your heart is brimming with thankfulness for this beautiful family you have been blessed with. It comes in small, regular moments, like when you are watching a movie as a family and you have this huge couch that everyone could have their own space in, but you are all snuggled up together. Hubby by your side and two sweet girls in each arm.
Or when those two sweet girls are playing so well together. When the little one comes out dressed for church and the big one tells her how pretty she looks. Or when the big one is crying and upset and the little one tries to comfort her by telling her that everything will be ok.
It's moments when your almost 7 year old volunteers, I mean really volunteers, out of nowhere to empty the dishwasher...the best that she can, and you understand that she has a good heart and is probably going to turn out ok.
When you decide, "dangit! we WILL do this Family Home Evening thing!" and after a few weeks of consistency, your kids start asking what FHE is going to be, (even if their biggest interest might be the treat).
You just realize that doing all the "right" things that we have been taught to do is WORTH IT!! Because it really does bring your family closer together.
There have been moments when I doubted marriage and wondered what the heck I had gotten into and if this was really going to work out. But after almost nine years, I am able to see that this has been an amazing journey so far. One with a lot of ups and downs, but today I really see that I have what I always wanted...or what I always thought I wanted. I just didn't always know it before.
We have come a long way! Building a family takes a lot of work and even more faith. And I am certainly glad God is patient with us as we are learning how to do it.
4.29.2013
4.17.2013
As for me and my house....
Of course, we will serve the Lord, but that's not what I'm getting at here...
Last night I went to a mom's group that involved a lot of discussion about, well, being a mother and it gave me some things to think about....
I think I have written before about how the past few years I feel like I have had to figure out who I am all over again, now that I am a mom. It's been frustrating at times. I have felt pressure to do things that other moms do. One in particular that I have struggled with, is seeing many of my friends/peers have their children heavily involved in extra-curricular activities. It's kinda stressed me out a little, to be honest. You go through wondering" how on earth can I do that?" "How could I afford that?" "Will my kids be totally lame if they don't get those same opportunities?" "Why does everyone feel like their kids have to be overloaded with all this extra stuff?" I guess I am one who can get very easily overwhelmed.
Recently, some article was circulating around facebook. Something about Rage Against The Minivan....(can't find it now). It basically talked about how over the top everything has gotten. Valentine's Day treats, etc. And I was like, "Amen, sister!"
Well, this article came up last night and one mom there had a completely different perspective on it. She actually found it bothersome that so many women essentially responded the same way I did. And instead of wanting to criticize other mom's who get pleasure out of doing these ultra-crafty, ultra cute things, she felt like we should say "good for them!", that's their talent, that's what they enjoy. Basically, why should it bother any of the rest of us if some mom's want to go out of their way to make things extra special on the Holidays? I had never considered that outlook before.
So when I got home, I was trying to process some of the things going through my mind. I needed to pray, so I did. And I think, just maybe, possibly a little, tiny, maybe dim light when on in my mind...I struggle to get this out because I don't formulate my thoughts into words very well.
So, I decided that it's OK if I feel like Holidays have gotten a little outta control. Because deep down, I really do feel that way (at least at this point). However, it doesn't need to bother me if someone else I know, or don't know, wants to go crazy with it. It's OK if I am not comfortable with my kids being in multiple extra-curricular activities, but it doesn't have to stress me out if other moms choose to do that.
Maybe in the past it has frustrated me because I wasn't really sure where I stood on certain things. But now I am starting to understand that as for me and my house....we WILL do certain things and we WON'T do other things. And that is OK.
I needed to remember that we are all "wired" differently and can all take on certain tasks at varying degrees. We all have different thresholds and mine is different than anyone elses. And that's OK too.
DeAnne
Last night I went to a mom's group that involved a lot of discussion about, well, being a mother and it gave me some things to think about....
I think I have written before about how the past few years I feel like I have had to figure out who I am all over again, now that I am a mom. It's been frustrating at times. I have felt pressure to do things that other moms do. One in particular that I have struggled with, is seeing many of my friends/peers have their children heavily involved in extra-curricular activities. It's kinda stressed me out a little, to be honest. You go through wondering" how on earth can I do that?" "How could I afford that?" "Will my kids be totally lame if they don't get those same opportunities?" "Why does everyone feel like their kids have to be overloaded with all this extra stuff?" I guess I am one who can get very easily overwhelmed.
Recently, some article was circulating around facebook. Something about Rage Against The Minivan....(can't find it now). It basically talked about how over the top everything has gotten. Valentine's Day treats, etc. And I was like, "Amen, sister!"
Well, this article came up last night and one mom there had a completely different perspective on it. She actually found it bothersome that so many women essentially responded the same way I did. And instead of wanting to criticize other mom's who get pleasure out of doing these ultra-crafty, ultra cute things, she felt like we should say "good for them!", that's their talent, that's what they enjoy. Basically, why should it bother any of the rest of us if some mom's want to go out of their way to make things extra special on the Holidays? I had never considered that outlook before.
So when I got home, I was trying to process some of the things going through my mind. I needed to pray, so I did. And I think, just maybe, possibly a little, tiny, maybe dim light when on in my mind...I struggle to get this out because I don't formulate my thoughts into words very well.
So, I decided that it's OK if I feel like Holidays have gotten a little outta control. Because deep down, I really do feel that way (at least at this point). However, it doesn't need to bother me if someone else I know, or don't know, wants to go crazy with it. It's OK if I am not comfortable with my kids being in multiple extra-curricular activities, but it doesn't have to stress me out if other moms choose to do that.
Maybe in the past it has frustrated me because I wasn't really sure where I stood on certain things. But now I am starting to understand that as for me and my house....we WILL do certain things and we WON'T do other things. And that is OK.
I needed to remember that we are all "wired" differently and can all take on certain tasks at varying degrees. We all have different thresholds and mine is different than anyone elses. And that's OK too.
DeAnne
4.05.2013
for encouragement and uplifting
*this is going around on facebook today and I wanted to copy it down so I could refer back to it when needed. It's beautiful!
Invisible Mother
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way
one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be
taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'
Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping
the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see
me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of
hands, nothing more! Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this??
Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock
to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is
the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'
Some days I'm a crystal ball; 'Where's my other sock?, Where's my phone?,
What's for dinner?'
I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes
that studied history, music and literature -but now, they had disappeared
into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's
going, she's gone!
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a
friend from England . She had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she
was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there,
looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to
compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when she
turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you
this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe . I wasn't exactly
sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'With admiration
for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'
In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover
what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could
pattern my work:
1) No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record
of their names.
2) These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never
see finished.
3) They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.
4) The passion of their building was fuelled by their faith that the
eyes of God saw everything.
A story of legend in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the
cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird
on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man,
'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that
will be covered by
the roof. No one will ever see it'
And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost
as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you. I see the sacrifices you
make every day, even when no one around you does.
No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've
baked, no Cub Scout meeting, no last minute errand is too small for me to
notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see
right now what it will become.
I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of
the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work
on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went
so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime
because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.
When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's
bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the
morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for 3
hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a
monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there
is anything more to say to his friend, he'd say, 'You're gonna love it
there...'
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're
doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel,
not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the
world by the sacrifices of invisible mothers.
Share this with all the Invisible Moms you know.... I just did.
The Will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect
you.
To all the wonderful mothers out there!! God bless and keep you.
Invisible Mother
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way
one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be
taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'
Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping
the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see
me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of
hands, nothing more! Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this??
Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock
to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is
the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'
Some days I'm a crystal ball; 'Where's my other sock?, Where's my phone?,
What's for dinner?'
I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes
that studied history, music and literature -but now, they had disappeared
into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's
going, she's gone!
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a
friend from England . She had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she
was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there,
looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to
compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when she
turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you
this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe . I wasn't exactly
sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'With admiration
for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'
In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover
what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could
pattern my work:
1) No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record
of their names.
2) These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never
see finished.
3) They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.
4) The passion of their building was fuelled by their faith that the
eyes of God saw everything.
A story of legend in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the
cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird
on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man,
'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that
will be covered by
the roof. No one will ever see it'
And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost
as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you. I see the sacrifices you
make every day, even when no one around you does.
No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've
baked, no Cub Scout meeting, no last minute errand is too small for me to
notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see
right now what it will become.
I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of
the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work
on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went
so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime
because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.
When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's
bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the
morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for 3
hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a
monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there
is anything more to say to his friend, he'd say, 'You're gonna love it
there...'
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're
doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel,
not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the
world by the sacrifices of invisible mothers.
Share this with all the Invisible Moms you know.... I just did.
The Will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect
you.
To all the wonderful mothers out there!! God bless and keep you.
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