There is a long list of firsts that you encounter as a parent. Tonight I had one.
I asked Katelyn to get into her jammies, and she started to get sad and mumbled something under her breath. I finally got her to tell me what she was saying. She said, "I'm not fast at running." Then she started bawling. So we sat down to talk about it. She told me that she isn't fast at running when she is at recess and she can't keep up with the other kids and then loses sight of them. She also told me that she didn't have anyone to play with at recess. I don't know if that is completely true, but it still made me feel bad. It all made my heart hurt for her. And I just thought in my head....Oh girl, this is just the beginning!
I was so incredibly glad to get out of school-when I graduated high school. The school years can be tough emotionally. Lots of anxiety, peer pressure, stress to do well in class, etc. Blah! If I hadn't had a church group for support, I don't know how I would have survived. It was hard enough going through it for yourself, and now...we get to go through it again via our children. Boy, do I ever need wisdom!
6 comments:
Thank goodness Christmas break is just around the corner!
This difficult for me on so many levels. I went through school with my very best friend, my twin brother. But I was also friends with many. I also had sports and a host of kids all around where we lived.
Katelyn is a sensitive little girl. I think I would check on that recess time. I would not want to learn she is sitting out there all alone.
You might try running with her. Go over to the school and see how fast and far she can run. She might just have to work up to speed and endurance. She is a girlly girl. Not a bad thing.
Oh, and know your heart is going to be tramped on many more times. Let her know that Grandpa loves her and will always be her friend.
Tell her that you love her and are so proud of her. That's what my parents always said, and it has always helped. Tell her that you love her because of who she is and she is great at these things: a, b, c, and she is wonderful at these things: d, e, f,...etc. Tell her she can do anything she wants to do and if she wants to run fast, then you'll practice running with her. And if she wants to make friends, the best thing to do is to be a friend to someone who doesn't have a friend. I don't have school aged kids, but my older sister does and she says that the best way is a car pool group because then the kids make friends in the car on the way to and from school...if you live close to school and don't need a car pool group, you might consider twice a week hosting an "after school snack" group, and invite some of her classmates. Those are just ideas I had. Gloria is a very ambitious 2 yr. old and she often is bossy to other children and too loud and aggressive. I have had my feelings hurt as well when other kids or their parents are quick to judge Gloria. Because I think she is perfect and love her so much.
You are a wonderful mom and do a great job.
Welcome to the ranks. I feel every bit of your pain. Devon struggles so much. I can see that he has faults but I see so many wonderful things about him too. My advice is to plan for it to get worse. I used to look think my kids would be just fine, and that they would be well liked. I was soooooo naive. I also know that I struggled a ton all through school, I know what kind of person I am now. I'm kinder to others and I know how to teach my kids how to be kind.
Alicia made some great points too. It all comes with the territory of motherhood. The more I accept it, the more I can try to buffer the blows. You are wonderful you know. Keep doing all the wonderful things you do. I look up to you so much. love ya!
I did talk to her about finding someone else who doesn't have anyone to play with and see if they want to play. She said she tried asking some kids to play, but they were talking and couldn't hear her. She reminds me of myself in a lot of ways. I have half a mind to go over to the school at recess and see if I can get more insight. Stake out!
I never had any friends in school to play with until I was in 9th grade I started to get some. I was so sick to my stomach going to school every single day because I was so self-conscious and shy. My dad just kept the mantra coming at me, "You want friends? Be a friend." It took a lot of work (and still does). Then dating was a huge blow, and I have felt such loneliness that even though I am now married and have two children, I still feel loneliness creep back in whenever I give it a chance. Another thing my mom said that helped is "In a situation, try not to think about how uncomfortable you are, try to look around and make the other person comfortable." I hope that sharing these thoughts helps. Basically, every mom will feel this way and you must never take it personally. Kids are mean. Most of them do not know they are mean and if it could be explained to them, they would not wish to be mean. What we got to do is teach our children to "be themselves--despite all the 'cheers and 'boos they may or may not receive." I had to do that as a teacher where it seemed often that all the students and their parents were against me one minute and then loved me the next minute. I just had to learn to be myself consistently and I'm still working on that. You are a great mom. You need to watch the show Parenthood. I think you can get it online. It's hilarious and very therapeutic for me.
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